A Storm Within

There are so many thoughts spinning in the corridors of my mind. Inside, it is true chaos. It’s as if a storm exists inside of me, one that I have no control over. It has me standing within a vast, turbulent sea with waves trying to devour everything in their path.

Every wave brings a memory I didn’t ask for, crashing against my chest with a force that feels meant to break me. Somewhere beneath the roar, I keep hoping that the next wave will not tear me open, but kiss me instead. That it will arrive not as destruction, but as release. Trying to find enough stillness externally in order for it to echo within.

I am sitting in the grey area of my life. Some would call it the present moment but I am floating between realms. The past weighs heavy with memory, the future thick with uncertainty and the present too quiet to guide me. There is no clear direction, only the soft hum of existing without arrival, a weightless pause where everything and nothing is happening at once. Could this be the eye of the storm?

In order for me to become the woman I’ve always seen in the quiet corners of my dreams I must let go of versions of myself that I once clung to and stories I’ve outgrown. This is where the past and future crash into one another with such force, it leaves the present gasping. My soul feels submerged, reaching for light with no clear way to the surface.

I am grieving what was and trying to honor every piece I must leave behind, while trying to make sense of what waits ahead. Where do I find relief from the pain of losing one identity in order to step into another?